September 23
I am sitting in the living room, on the floor, of what looks like my parent’s house. My friend is in front of me, between myself and the front door. The corner where the front door is, there is a closet behind that… that door is open and there are baby toys. My friend is folding laundry (or doing some other task to her left that I can’t quite see) as we chat. Her baby boy is playing on the floor next to her, rolling and giggling, waving his little arms. I’m amazed he is moving so much, I thought he was too young to lift his head, but here he is rolling and trying to sit up. My friend is not surprised by his movements, and I ask her “just how long has it been since we talked?!?” I look back and the baby is sitting upright, still giggling and playing… then he is standing and walking. My friend stops him “no no no… we can’t go that way you silly little goofball” and aims him away from the front door, back into the room. He takes off, laughing as he runs. I stand and walk down a hall, towards a family room. The room is clean except for a lot of little papers… the backs of foamy stickers litter the ground. It looks like the girls have been working on a project and didn’t quite finish cleaning, though the rest of the room is spotless and organized. There is a white cubby/organizer unit to my right, against the wall, with a “U” shaped table top coming out from the center. Two small white chairs sit on either side of the table top, this is the desk that the girls share for their projects. The girls are older… 7 and 5 it looks like… the older one is leading the way to play with stuff in the other room, the younger is following her, eager to see what her sister is up to.
Overall I have a warm feeling, my friend is relaxed and smiling, though still very busy.
September 21 – nightmare
I’m being held against my will… this is a mental institution. I’m brought to a meeting room – I have to sit in a circle of people and talk. I fight with them… people try to hold me back – I want to break out, I don’t think I should be here. I’m kicking and screaming as they drag me out of the room. I’m in my own room (like a cell) sitting on my bed, looking at my hand. I’m turning my hand over and back again, watching it… aware that they have drugged me, but I’m fighting against the drugs, trying to stay myself.
September 9
I’m in my house… it is larger than my actual house, full of people. There are several bedrooms on the top floor – 4 or 5 – and a couple of bathrooms. O needs to use the bathroom, so we walk down the stairs… everything upstiars is occupied. There is a part of the house I don’t go to very often – it’s such a large house that there are places we just generally ignore. Down two flights of stairs, down the hall, I see people in one room, the laundry room is off to the left, and there is a bathroom in there as well. As we walk over the threshold I notice a pile of blankets next to the doorframe to my right… this is the doorway to a family room. “I really need to get down here and pick this place up” I think to myself, and I shift the blankets. They are crawling with insects… they are small at first, then appear to be bigger… it almost looks like the blanket itself is alive, bubbling with maggots. I drop the blanket and run to the other side of the room. We’ve disturbed the nest and some of the bugs are taking flight, from here it looks like a swarm of wasps. We can’t get back out the doorway because of the insects. I’m screaming for help, but my voice is not loud enough… I can’t yell above a whisper. Other people are walking downstairs, I’m trying to warn them but they don’t understand me until it’s too late. Two, three people walk through the doorway and are instantly covered with bugs. I’m finally able to yell… I can feel my voice change from a horse whisper to a loud scream… I’m screaming S’s name over and over. He comes down from upstairs and approaches the doorway… though he is not attacked at all. He pulls the vent cover off the heating unit in the wall, reaches his hand into the wall and pulls out a fan. He calls me over and points to it.
“The noise you were hearing wasn’t bees… see… its just the sound of cockroaches being crunched up in the fan.”
I look down and see several very large bugs – 2-3 inches in length – dark brown, narrow bodies. All are mangled to some degree… some are still trying to move, their legs wiggling in a feeble attempt to escape the fan. Some are completely blended… orange and green liquid substance drips from the fan blades.
September 1 nightmare
I’m in an airplane, part of my family is on the plane but our seats are separated. The woman in my row has an unruly kid with her… I know the woman (or have been talking to her enough to feel I know her) and am used to the kid climbing around. The plane is showing a movie, there is a screen some distance away to watch, or there are smaller screens in the backs of the seat headrests we can watch. I’m watching the main screen, because if I pull up the screen nearest to me it will block where the kid is climbing around, and I don’t want to force him into one spot. The woman next to me is assuring me that her son will be able to stay still for the rest of the flight, if I’d rather pull up the closer screen. I look at my watch… there is a little over an hour left in the flight… I don’t believe the boy will sit still for that long, and as I begin to tell her this I feel the nose of the plane is aimed down. I say out loud “I’m always so surprised with how early the planes start their descent” and then I hear the engines… they are very loud, way too loud. I glance out the window just in time to see tree branches, an opening in the trees to bright blue crystal water… and I feel the plane lurch as it hits the lake surface. Off in the distance in front of us is a city… our plane was destined for San Francisco but we didn’t make it all the way there. I don’t know if we’ve landed in the bay outside of the airport, or if we’ve landed in a lake somewhere on the way. The sky is blue, bright… it’s a sunny afternoon. I stand in the asile of the plane, people inside are screaming. I need to get back to my spouse and daughter, I need to make sure we get the seat cushion up and strap it to her so she can float when we get out the door. I’m picturing how to do this as I call their names. I feel the plane shift with the movement of the water we’ve landed in, I counterbalance with my legs to stay standing as I watch people around me fall with the movement. I begin to feel panic as I realize the plane could fill with water and sink before we make it out the door. The carpeting on the floor of the plane feels damp under my feet, and I look out the window to see water lapping against the glass.
