dreams and nightmare
A few dreams from the past few nights and one nightmare
*I’m in a warehouse of some kind, it’s dark… dirty… sound echos. I’m giving birth… slightly worried about the lack of cleanliness, but a hospital is simply not an option. Other people are having to give birth here too, we’re hiding from something? Someone? Seems like post-apocalypse. I can feel the baby coming out of me, it’s a boy, I reach down as he is coming out head first… the head is out, I’m cradling him in my hands as I push the rest of his body out. I can feel the texture of the substances on him, the warmth, the stickiness. I cradle him in my arms… I don’t have clothes for him. We have to cut the umbilical cord, I need to find a place to deliver the placenta. I tie off the cord, someone else with me cuts it, but it’s too close to the baby. The baby complains, he is born able to talk. I hold him in my arms and he is giving me directions on where to go… the hallways are dark, people are running around with flashlights, we are trying to avoid these people.
*I’m at a party – we are hosting it and decided to have it catered instead of having to cook all the food, though it’s at someone else’s house as well. A friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a couple decades decided to invite herself to the party. It’s not much of a gathering, and I explain to her that there’s not going to be a lot more people here (if that’s what she was expecting) She seems happy to see me, even cries. She’s wearing a lot of makeup though, the tears run lines through the powder, but she doesn’t seem to care. She feels bad about something from the past, and she wants to apologize to me. She gives me a hug. I was just on my way out of the house to go back to my house because I forgot a few things… she comes with me out the front door and climbs into a little car. The car is designed to drive for you, you get in and lay back. I’m getting into the car, but I feel like it’s not safe… that’s not a good position to be in if there is a crash.
*I’m in the hospital… it’s a strange hospital, I don’t know the doctors or nurses. I’m being told I have to have some kind of abdominal surgery. I’m scared out of my mind as they describe it to me, my internal organs are moved around and they have to go in and move them back… they have a diagram of what happened, it looks horrible. I’m on the phone, trying to reach someone I know… nobody seems to know that I’m here and I’m scared to be put under for the surgery until I have a friend or family with me. I’m crying on the phone because nobody is answering any of the numbers I’m dialing.
